Owning Your Choices: The Power of Intention

Has this ever happened to you?

You set a goal—whether it’s working out regularly, eating healthier, or waking up earlier—and at first, you’re all in. You follow the plan, stay disciplined, and push through. But after a while, the motivation fades. You fall off track. You might even feel ashamed, frustrated, or confused about why it keeps happening.

You’re not alone. This is a common trap for all of us. This pattern comes up often in my work with clients too. And when we dig a little deeper, something is becoming clearer, the actions themselves aren’t necessarily the problem. Instead, it’s the intention – or lack of intention – behind them.

Going Through the Motions vs. Moving with Intention

Sometimes, we move through life on autopilot - do what’s expected, what’s familiar, or what we’ve been told is “right.” We chase outcomes, check boxes, and set goals based on what we think we should want. But behaviors rooted on the surface are often temporary. True satisfaction begins when we bring awareness and heart into our choices.

This is where the difference between goals and intentions becomes important:

  • Goals are future-focused.
    Intentions are present-focused.

  • Goals are what we want to do or achieve.
    Intentions are how we want to be or feel.

  • Goals are tied to external success and results.

    Intentions are rooted in internal values and purpose.

  • Goals are specific and limited.

    Intentions are broad and expansive.


Here are some examples to strengthen your goals with intentions:

  • Goals: Go to the gym 3 times a week.
    Intentions: Feel strong, energized, and take care of my body.

  • Goals: Meditate daily.
    Intentions: Cultivate inner calm and clarity.

  • Goals: Network with 5 new people this quarter.
    Intentions: Build meaningful connections that align with

    my values.

When we set an intention, we’re not just deciding what we want to do – we’re connecting to why it matters. That heartfelt connection fuels our actions with meaning, making them more sustainable and satisfying over time. When you’re feeling stuck or burnt out, revisiting your intention can often reignite your motivation in a way that chasing results alone cannot.

Who’s Making the Choice?

This is a question I often invite clients to explore. Because many of our choices aren’t truly coming from our authentic selves—they’re being made by internalized roles we’ve developed over time to cope, belong, or stay safe.

I say this not just as a therapist, but from lived experience. I have parts of me that show up sometimes—the perfectionist, who thinks I need to get everything just right to feel okay; the part of me that wants to be liked and sometimes says yes even when I am stretched thin; and the doer, who used to believe that being productive was the same as being valuable. These parts were trying to help me feel safe and accepted—and honestly, they did get me through a lot. They’re still around, but they don’t run the show like they used to. These days, I try to catch when they’re getting loud, and gently check in with myself. What do I need right now? What really matters here?

It’s not always easy, but it feels a lot more honest – and a lot kinder.

You might recognize some of these parts too:

  • the controller, who tries to keep everything in order so nothing falls apart,

  • the fixer, who feels responsible for solving everyone’s problems,

  • the perfectionist, who believes mistakes mean failure,

  • the peacekeeper, who puts others’ needs ahead of their own to maintain harmony,

  • the doer, who believes being busy and productive is the only way to feel valuable.

These roles aren’t bad—they formed to protect us. But when they’re driving our decisions, we often act out of fear, pressure, or habit instead of clarity and self-connection.

So when someone asks me, “What should I do?” I don’t tell them what I would do. Instead, I invite them to pause and ask:
“Which part of me is speaking right now?”
“What truly matters to me in this moment?”

Because the most meaningful choices come not from external expectations or internalized pressure—but from a grounded connection to your values and needs.

Bringing Intention Into Your Choices

The next time you find yourself stuck, burnt out, or disconnected despite doing all the “right” things, pause and ask:

  • Am I just going through the motions, or am I truly engaged in this?

  • Who’s making this decision—the part of me trying to survive, or the part of me that’s ready to thrive?

  • Is this choice rooted in fear or habit, or is it aligned with what I deeply value?

Setting an intention is an invitation to return to yourself. It’s how you align your actions with who you are—not who you’ve been told to be.

Because owning your choices isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about coming home to your truth, again and again.

Wishing you clarity and intention in all that you do,
Wendy

Wendy Sun